Most recent coupons from advance auto parts and auto parts warehouse, and a theory of baseball player motivations

I'm going to tell you about the true motivations behind professional athletes' will to compete, night after night, week after insufferable week, from a crack auto mechanic's perspective.  But first there are some serious auto parts coupons to present:

From Advance Auto Parts we have the following bouquet:

1) save 15% percent off any orders over $100, plus get $50BB on your next $100 dollar order! This is like giving Pooh Bear yellow honey for his tummy! This offer is valid through 7/28/12 only - Click here to reveal coupon code

2) Get an Actron OBD2 PocketScan Plus coupon code now while supplies last, giving you a 50% discount! Click here to reveal coupon code

3) This ongoing promo code let's you save $50 off $200 purchases Click here to reveal coupon code

4) Advance Auto Parts is extending their get $20 off purchases of $75 or more Click here to reveal coupon code

SO the first part of professional athletes' motivation is that they are like little bunnies coming out into the verdant, lush meadow, brimming with optimism and wonder. This is the rookie season. As the accumulated stresses of the road, the incessant spittle from the fat greasy mouths needing toothpaste and vigorous plaque debridement shouting expletives like 'hey you bum', and the inability to please everyone in the park with a grand slam each at bat takes its toll, the player becomes a passive violence victim, bereft of emotion and scarred deeply. He gives cliched lip service to the importance of winning, and team play, and loyalty to the fat bastard with the mustard and carageenan dripping from his rotting teeth demanding an autograph. But inside his engines are pumping, thumping in time, hoping that his memories will fade.

This semi-coherent thought might become a religion some day, or it can be used to differentiate between radiators, exhaust systems, and auto tires. Cooter has been smoking dill, and apologizes for that rant.

To make it up he will present the following coupons from Auto Parts Warehouse:

 1) Their brother from another mother, Partstrain.com, is offering 10% off orders of $150 or more, which is crazy considering the already heavily discounted prices. Click here to reveal coupon code, GOOD THROUGH SEPTEMBER 30TH, 2012

 2) Cooter isn't sure why anyone needs auto parts coupons for back to school, but perhaps the book bags and juice boxes take a collective toll on the wallet, and coupons for auto parts like gazoinkindoinks might permit the wife to overlook said purchases. Anyway, Auto Parts Warehouse is offering 8% off orders of $99 or more through July 31st, 2012 Click here to reveal coupon code

 Cooter would be remiss to forget to mention this one from JC Whitney, a coupon offering a solid $10 off your purchase of auto parts. JC Whitney is kind of an athlete of all trades, able to scale high buildings with ball bearings that hang like testicles in rear view mirrors: Click here to reveal coupon code

 So the next time you are changing a tire, and ordering brake fluid and tow bars and light bars, and tricked out fenders that glint like Shirley Temple's eyes in front of camera, think of those athletes who are looking at you with utter contempt. You deserve it. You don't love them for real, and you wouldn't give a c r a p if they were traded before the deadline, necessitating the uprooting of their families, driving cross country in a Volkswagen, Ford, Chevy, or Toyota with 200K miles on the odometer from a life spent coughing up blood and dust from minor league fields fertilized with bird excrement.